Linda and I had dinner with a friend tonight (we were going to stay home and make dinner for him, but Linda pointed out that this was one of our few remaining chances to eat out). Our friend has a college-age daughter, and as I listened to him talk about her, I couldn’t help but envy him a bit. His child is practically grown up. He’s done all the winding up, and now his job is to set her on the ground and let her go (I know a parent’s job is never done, but it must change/evolve around the time that those eighteen birthday candles are blown out). Even though I’m looking forward – more than words can say – to every experience with our new baby, there’s a lot of worry mixed in there, too. It can be a big, bad world with lots of sad stories, and I can’t help but wonder if one of them is slated to be mine. I’d give anything to get a glimpse forward to where our friend is at, to know our child grows up strong, smart, loved, and loving.
But I know that would be wrong – that there’s something to be said for stepping off the cliff and trusting that things will turn out like you hope. So, I’ll try to be optimistic, and trust that my wife will get me and my kid where we need to be in eighteen years or so. I’ll work through things here. I’ll read. I’ll try to be patient with myself and the two people that live with me. I’ll pick up what I can from other people, too. Our friend shared with us one of his inspirations – when his daughter was born, he took a picture of her every day for her first year. This weekend, I’ll pick up a photo album.
28 days until baby (Wow - TWENTY EIGHT DAYS!). Baby shower is tomorrow.