I'd like to say that for the twenty four hours of every day since I found out that Linda is pregnant, I have looked forward to the arrival of the baby - to becoming a father - to us becoming a family instead of a couple. For the most part, I have. I don't count the times I feel scared. Those moments are like boarding an airplane; a little part of me screams that I'm out of my mind and that it's all going to crash and burn, but the rest of me is excited, feeling like a little kid, myself. No, if I'm completely honest, there are those weak moments when I feel selfish, and I wonder if, after the baby comes, I'll have those moments, hours, and days that were just mine - the camping trips, the hikes, the summer afternoons on the deck. I stumbled on a quote yesterday that I'll keep in my mental pocket, taking it out whenever my self-centered side needs a slap to send it back into its corner:
We must let go of the life we have planned, so as to accept the one that is waiting for us.
34 days until baby.