I Want To Take You For Granted

There are still moments when I’m startled by Violet’s presence. When, absorbed in some routine or thought, I turn a corner to see her crib, full of toys but empty, or the pile of diapers on the coffee table waiting to be folded – our coffee table has diapers on it way more often than coffee mugs -  or, best of all, I come upon her, seated in her highchair and puzzling out its hows and whys, and for the briefest of moments, I think, “That’s weird…someone left a baby here.” These thoughts are always fleeting, but they’re happening less and less as Violet – just by being present - weaves herself more permanently into the hems and seams of our day-to-day. I don’t think I’ll miss these thoughts when they’re gone. For some reason, I feel slightly guilty having them now, but it’s a little scary to think about a time when I’m completely used to her being around because that means I won’t be able to picture living without her.

182 days old