When I can get myself to think beyond the delivery of our baby, I’m left wondering how the relationship will change between my wife and me. For thirteen years, it’s been the two of us. Day in and day out, we’ve smelled each other’s morning breath and witnessed the drool on each other’s pillows. It works, the two of us together, and if this baby had never happened, there’s not a doubt in my mind that we would’ve been together long enough for one to plant flowers on the other’s grave. And it would’ve been good. No, not just good, it would’ve been worth it.
But now, that’s gone, and the thirteen years I know about, the thirteen years that taught me how to live with and love this person next to me, are just prelude. I know how to make things work with the two of us - when to back off, when to push, when I can move in for a kiss and make her smile, but when one of us has just been vomited on or is holding a diaper full of crap, it sort of changes the whole dynamic, you know?
Before we got pregnant, I remember Linda telling me about a radio piece she’d heard on a study/survey that found childless couples are happier in their relationship than couples with children. At the time, it made sense to me, but now, I find myself praying that the report was way off base. Maybe they just caught the people on a bad day, a day without much sleep the night before. I want to prove that study wrong - keep our great relationship and just add a baby into the mix. Like adding sprinkles onto the chocolate syrup and ice cream. Why can’t a baby make a good thing even better?
67 days until baby. Please comment and follow.
DO NOT LET a baby change what you have. That is why I have always had babysitters and Date Nights and weekends away without the kids. Without Jeff, I am only half a person. By making a conscious decision to keep us "us," I think we make better parents and better examples for our kids (at least that's what I tell myself). It is not always easy and it's getting harder now that they are older and have their own interests and activities which demand more of us. Sometimes, I can feel the "us" slipping away and I have to refocus and recharge, because I don't want to be me without "us."
ReplyDeleteWell, raising children does take massive amounts of time, energy, money.... Paul always says "Ashley took away my best friend." Probably true, but he has me back now after we happily raised three children together, investing our heart and soul in each one. Many priceless memories of family trips, holidays, dog shows, soccer games, school activities later, we are so proud of our family and thankful for the time to do things together--just the two of us.
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