Don't Look Back

This weekend was the first weekend that we had no visitors coming to see Violet. It was just us, and it gave me the chance to see what our weekends will be like for the foreseeable future. Back when Linda was pregnant, I wrote about how I thought our Sundays might go – those days when we sleep in and make a big breakfast and often never get out of our pajamas. I figured they wouldn’t be too different, and so far, I seem to be right. What I didn’t write then was that I was also wondering if I would miss the days when it was just Linda and me (Yes, I know that was selfish of me. I’m not proud of it.). Would I miss those Friday nights when we’d suddenly decide to go the movies or Saturdays when we would, on the spur of the moment, drive to Rochester? Before the baby arrived, a male friend of Linda’s with two kids told her that once your children arrive, “You never look back,” and I have to say that so far, he’s right. I haven’t thought much about what life was like before, and when I do, I don’t miss it. It’s more like looking back at someone else’s life – some guy that got more sleep – and I feel no envy because there’s no Violet in his life. She’s here, in my life now, so why would I want to be anywhere else? I asked Linda tonight if she thought that we would grow to miss our footloose, childless days at some point in the future, since all of this was still fairly new and exciting. She didn’t hesitate. “No, Violet will be there - doing everything with us.”

58 days old